Sunday September 05 , 2010
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Scariest Close Calls

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Let's see here, hummm, scariest close call I ever had. Should I talk about the time I flipped my motorcycle end-over-end at 70 MPH down a highway or should I talk about the other time while I was still in the Navy? Let's go with both since they pretty much are equal and happened a few years apart.


Motorcycle (Norfolk, VA):

I had been drinking heavily after work with a few of my friends and realized that I was in no shape to handle my 650 Triumph so I pushed my bike home (about 1.5 miles) along with my co-worker pushing his right along beside me. We got to my house and were sitting on the porch sobering up when the wife came home and said that we should go for a ride because dinner would be in about an hour. We said, "Great!" Off we went on our bikes.

We decided to take this one highway because it was less traveled and there were houses on both sides (kind of like US 31 heading to Kokomo). The normal speed limit was 70 so we were not speeding. Now this highway had rain grooves (small ditches) cut across it every so often and we were having fun riding over them. I saw the next one coming up and tightened my grip on the bars and was ready for the hump in the road. What I didn't see was this giant chuck-hole on the other side of the hump. The next thing I saw was the ground - the sky - the ground - the sky - the ground - the sky - the ground – my friend on his bike and then wham I came down crashing on the pavement still going 70 MPH on my back and the bike landed next to me and bounced away. I slid on the pavement for what seemed like forever and as I started slowing down I used my helmet as a skid brake until I finally stopped. I laid there for a bit as people came running out of their houses to my aid and then I decided to stand up to see if anything was broken (Stupid! - I know but remember I was still partially drunk which probably saved my life). As I walked to the edge of the highway someone screamed about all the blood down the highway and that most of my back looked like it was missing. At that point the shock of what had just happened hit me and down I went not to move again until the paramedics got there. One of the people standing around me ran back to his house and brought out a bottle of whiskey, handed it to me and said that I looked like I needed it. I took a big drink and preceded to up-chuck (better than saying puke-up) everything I had in my system. The police arrived and asked me if I had been drinking since you could smell it and the guy that had handed me the bottle said that he had just given it to me to take for pain so the cop wrote down - "Had not been drinking!" By the time I reached the hospital, I had lost so much blood and had so much saline pumped into me that a blood alcohol test was futile.

Let me tell you, the scariest part of the whole thing was the vision of the ground/sky loops. Not something I want to do ever again. I spent 30 days in the hospital and another 30 days at home for re-habilitation.


Too Much Party (San Diego, CA):

A close friend of mine had just got out of the brig after 60 days and wanted to "do the town" as he put it and could find nobody to go with him. I told him that I would so he rented a car and off we went. He told me that the weekend was on him since he had two months of back pay to spend.

Now this was Friday night and we went from party to party drinking and having a great time. We finally made it back to the barracks around 4am Saturday morning and slept until noon. Then off we went, after getting some food, going from party to party to party until around 11pm when we ended up at the Enlisted Club on base. We drank some more and he decided that we should go back to this one party because there were lots of women there. I agreed totally with him and said let's go. The closer I got to his car the worse I felt and chills were running all through me. As I reached for the door handle I got really sick to my stomach and the hair was standing up all over my arms and neck. I told him that I had had enough to drink and was going back to the room to get some rest. He said ok and off he drove. As I watched him drive away I suddenly felt much better so back into the club I went and stayed until it closed down. I went back to my room and fell asleep. I had left the door unlocked for him in case he showed up. He never showed up that day. I figured he hooked up with one of the women and that I would see him on Monday. It was Monday afternoon before I found out that he had run the car into a bridge killing him instantly ten minutes after he left me in the parking lot.

I will never forget that feeling I got that night for as long as I live. Just thinking about it brings the feelings back.

 

How I Got Roped Into Joining Mensa

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How I Got Roped Into Joining Mensa
(or at least how I remember it)
James Amato


It was on a weekend back in April 1984. I don’t remember if it was Saturday or Sunday, but I got a call on the phone. Leo [Doyle] called me and asked if I was doing anything that day. I told him no and he said that he would be right over and to have $25 ready. He finally showed up and had Kathy in the van with him so I got in and he asked again if I had $25 on me. I told him yes and asked why. He told me that we were going to go and take IQ tests. I said, “Ok,” and then asked why. He said that we were going to test for Mensa. I had heard of Mensa from an episode of the Avengers on TV. I said, “You don’t think we qualify, do you?” He answered, “No, I just want to know what my IQ is.” Sounded like a good idea to me.

He drove us over to Mathews’ bicycle shop on Pendleton Pike. I thought this was a strange place to take IQ tests. We went in and I found out that it was actually two different tests that we would be taking. After the tests we heard one woman say she knew she had passed and hoped to see some of us again at a meeting. (We never saw her again.)

Two weeks passed and I received my results back showing that I was in the 99th percentile and qualified to join. Another week passed and Leo still hadn’t heard from them, and of course I rubbed it in saying that maybe the ones who passed were notified right away and those who didn’t would be told later. Of course we all know the results. All three of us passed and Leo and I both joined. All in all it turned out great and we are both Life Members.

   

The Worst Name

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There are probably dozens and dozens of unusual names that I have come across but there is only one that will stick with me forever. When I was in grade school we had one kid with the first name of Delbert and the last name of Dumbell. When taking roll the teacher always said, “Dumbell – Delbert.” I swear! Unfortunately the name fit his personality.

   

My Worst Job

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When I was in the Navy stationed in San Diego on the Amphibious base, a bunch of us got into some trouble at the Enlisted Club and for our punishment we were told that we were going to test a new type of life jacket. We were told to take everything out of our pockets but leave our clothes on and put the jackets on and jump into the bay and stay there for the entire day. There was only one way to get out of the water and we would have been spotted thereby getting into even more trouble. After about 20 minutes of floating we all got pretty bored and decided to paddle ourselves across the bay to the main Naval Station and visit the Enlisted Club. Once we got to the other side of the bay, we got out of the water and walked to the club. We were asked why we were so wet but since I knew the people that worked there they didn't care. They even let us run a tab for our drinks. After putting down quite a few beers we realized that we had better head back. We got back into the bay and paddled back to our base just in time to be greeted by the same officers that ordered us to test the jackets. They asked where we had been and I told them for a good test of the jackets we swam around for awhile to see how they would fit after being drenched and if they were comfortable enough for the normal person to swim in if need be. I was commended for my foresight and given extra time off. Sometimes it pays to get into a bit of trouble.